Hello, world. It’s already been more than a year since I have last posted. A lot has happened since I graduated from high school… I’ve worked behind the scenes for a sold-out event at the gorgeous Royce Hall at UCLA, helped plan and execute a $22,000 admit weekend for Southeast Asian students, finished my first year of college, and hopped on a plane to spend the summer of a lifetime at the distinguished Yonsei University in Seoul, South Korea. It was never my intention to use this blog as an outlet to share my thoughts and such, but as I sit here from the other side of the world, I feel the need to journal my experience, if only so that the older me can have something to look back upon. The entries that I will post will be solely for me to reflect on and remember my life abroad. I welcome you to share my experiences with me, if you so wish. Until next time.
P.S. Mr. Theriault, you will always remain one of my favorite teachers. For all the times you chose to teach us about life over English, thank you. I definitely learned a lot.
Hey, y’all. It has been a little over three weeks since I last made a post, but my life has just been so hectic with the end of senior year fast approaching. Senioritis has also been dragging me down an endless pit of laziness so I’ll just leave a couple notes here today.
– Dear Baron Me is almost complete! My friend is making the final edits to the remaining videos, which will then be ready for the world to see very soon.
– I got asked to prom, which totally ruined my plans of staying at home in bed with my giant teddy bear, a hot baguette, Starbucks, and Korean dramas. But you know…who’s complaining?!? Although I’ve never really been one to go to these types of events, I’m willing to give it a try. Fingers are crossed that my friends are right about this whole prom thing. Maybe I’m saving myself from regret in the future..
– Last week was my fourth and final FVHS Orchestra banquet ever. It seemed like just yesterday I was still a little freshman imagining what it would be like to be a senior. At each year’s banquet I would tell myself that I still had time left with this family that I have become a part of over the years. This year I told myself that there were no more orchestra banquets in my future. I think this was when it finally hit me that I’m graduating in two weeks. Le sigh…yet another bittersweet moment. If I feel like this now, how will I be feeling when I’m getting ready to graduate college? Medical school? WHERE HAS THE TIME GONE?????
– Freshman15 has begun early and will become Freshman100. Despite all the end-of-the-year projects that I’m currently juggling, I have much more free time now. What does this mean? More time to be bored = more time to eat. Someone help me, because I can already feel the extra pounds packing on.
I’ve recently finished reading The Awakening by Kate Chopin, so my mind has been full of thoughts on love, happiness, solitude, and sense of self. It definitely gave me good reason to ponder life, which led me to this song by EXO. In the book the female protagonist, Edna, struggles to break free from societal constraints and expectations, including her duty as a mother and wife. She eventually leaves her husband and engages in multiple affairs – none of which ended well, I might add. It deeply saddens me that she wasn’t able to find a reason to live.
“Baby Don’t Cry” is based on the original Little Mermaid (1837)by Hans Christian Andersen. In this version, the Little Mermaid falls in love with a prince after she saves him from shipwreck. Exchanging her beautiful voice for legs in a deal with the Sea Witch, she goes onto land and befriends the Prince. Although she feels excruciating pain from walking, she dances for him. Then, the Prince is ordered to marry a neighboring princess, and he agrees. The Little Mermaid’s sisters give her a knife: if she can slay the Prince in his sleep, she will turn back into a mermaid and live her life. If not, the Sea Witch has said that she will die brokenhearted after the Prince’s marriage. But because she loves him so much, the Little Mermaid fails to kill the Prince, thrusts herself into the sea, and turns into sea foam.
OH, THE FEELZ ARE TOO GREAT. Who’d ever thought it was such a sad love story? TT^TT
Today my English teacher assigned the class our final Senior project: create a video, audio file, PowerPoint, animated film, or electronic file of some sort that documents what we’ve learned and/or experienced in our past four years of high school. I have so many ideas, yet I’m clueless as to how they’ll be executed. This project seems like tons of fun, and it’ll be great when all of my classmates and I come together the last week of school to watch them.
But as much as I am looking forward to that week, I’m not quite yet ready to graduate. Especially with all the senior activities coming up at my school, my emotions are becoming more and more unstable. I don’t want to say my goodbyes yet… Is it normal to be afraid of separation, change, and the future?
Channeled as much of my inner artistic side as I could to produce a 1-pager – notes taken in the form of images. It was a lot more fun than I thought it would be!
This 1-pager is drawn in response to a particular scene in George Orwell’s 1984 when the coral glass paperweight was shattered by a member of the Thought Police in Chapter X. The pink coral, a symbol of Winston and Julia, couldn’t stay intact in the face of Big Brother’s control, represented by the black lines and red font. The quote “You are the dead” came from the telescreen that let Winston and Julia know they were caught.
The pivotal scene stuck with me. As much as I wanted Winston and Julia to defeat all odds and be together, their capture seemed inevitable. Big Brother and the government were just too powerful….It makes me wonder whether our society will someday become like this.
I don’t do drugs. I don’t drink. I’ve never broken the law. I don’t party. I don’t stay out late. I don’t go out at all, for that matter.
I’ve never been to a high school dance. I haven’t dated since the eighth grade. I get good grades. I’m going to a four-year university.
I’m not obsessed with brand names. I don’t throw tantrums when I don’t get what I want. I don’t need much more than the clothes on my back, food in my stomach, a bed to sleep in, and a roof over my head.
I hand-draw fractals for fun.
I am involved at church. I’ve been a family leader for the Confirmation I and II retreat teams.
What does it mean to have a dream college? To me, personally, I am torn between even the idea of having a dream college.
Now that the college admissions process is drawing to a close, I’ve experienced both relief and sadness. I am no where near as disappointed as I thought I would be. I will be attending UCLA in the fall as a Molecular, Cellular, and Developmental Biology major with a possible minor in Korean, or psychology, or both. Though UCLA was my third choice, it is an amazing institution that I’ve always wanted to attend. It’s close to home, located in one of the most innovative cities in the world, and is home to one of the most highly regarded medical centers in the nation (a huge huge plus for a pre-med like me).
Still, I have moments where I wonder about what could have been. If we are all so worthy as the admissions representatives say, what differentiates those who are accepted from those who aren’t? If I sound bitter, I don’t mean to be – I’m just truly curious. Continue reading →
On Friday I received my first rejection letter. But you know what? I am (surprisingly) okay with it. The University of Chicago is a great school, but maybe it just isn’t the school for me. Maybe this is God’s way of telling me that there’s more to life than the place “where fun goes to die.”
….which is why I’m going to allow myself to have more fun and set myself free, starting with going to see the sun rise.
In about three weeks time, I will know where I’m going to college. I’M NOT READY FOR THIS.
The ticking of the clock is becoming louder and louder, driving me bonkers until the days I receive my admissions decisions. The storm will come, and here I am just waiting for it to happen. It is as if I am falling victim to a relentless bully who refuses to get off my case.